Smoke as a substitute for foodstuffs

One of the many benefits (and there are many) of smoking is it's ability to replace your body's desire for food. It's true. Take me, for example. I'm completely out of money and have exhausted my foodstores, and both my wallet and cupboards will remain empty until Wednesday at midnight when I get paid, but I am not fearful.

The combination of good old fashioned H20 and the swirling sensation of cigarette smoke in my stomach will trick my body into thinking that I am completely satisfied. The only problem is that I am down to less than 7 cigarettes and with each hunger pang, well, the time between cigarettes grows much shorter.

Smoking is associated with many other food-related occurences as well. Quitting is hard as is, but after a big thick meal it can be excrutiating not lighting up a bone pony and riding that fag to freedom. Something about the lingering juices of a hearty meal that just need to be extinguished with the raw, sharp bite of nicotine flavored smoke.

Also, people tend to gain weight when quitting smoking. I'm not sure if nicotine actually increases your metabolism, which I've heard (I've also heard it makes you shit more, I believe this one) but I do know that when you stop stuffing a cigarette in your mouth, well, you get the urge to put other things in there. Namely chocolate, cheese, and various other types of enhanced dairy products...