Where I'm at with respect to *breathe* in *choke* out

I can't even finish an entire cigarette anymore. That's good. I had a few ideas to help me quit. One was that I would smoke cigarettes without nicotine, so that the physical addiction would have time to subside while I still had the comfort of suckling a butt with my lips like a tit moth to a spurting flame. Then I had no idea what that meant and I was in need of nico the tine and Bob sold me a pack of Camel Wide Lights. That helped. They're awful. So I can't finish even a whole one. I'm getting to the point where I don't enjoy smoking, it disgusts me, and that's where I need to be.

In a few days I'll relinquish my right to drive via cancelling my car insurance and giving away the Mustang and begin riding my bike. A few pedals and my lungs will be scream "Hellish Mary!" and I'll be sure to remember not to smoke on the frequent. Hopefully that helps.

Soon I'll be gone. A major change of life and destination. What will happen? What will I replace this addiction with? Do I need to replace it with anything, or can it just go away? What happens to the spot where it used to fill? I wonder, does it get collapsed in on by various other things, love, drama, running errands, watching TV, thinking...or does it just cease to exist. I tend to think of my brain like a computer, with various files in various folders. Windows XP: Nathan's Brain Edition.

That's a bit depressing. Lunchtime means the threat of possibly smoking. Ba dumm...