To anyone considering smoking for its taste or mellow pleasure goodness
Though I'm a fiercely loyal fan of the Camel brand, I bring bad news which might have my mailing address usurped from the camelsmokes.com email list:
I fill out forms, who doesn't, but I really fill them out, and I love doing it. I could fill out forms about anything, from what sort of laundry detergents I use to W2s to doing my taxes and so on and so on, but when it comes time to fill out a good form and it's on a topic I enjoy, say....cigarettes....well then I go bollistic. Yes, modern warfare, you know?
So overtime I have apparently reassured RJ Reynolds (fine purveyors of turkish/domestic tobaccos) that I am such a devoted fan that they need not send me any little tchotchkes to provide me with incentive to keep puffing their brand (I once filled out the answer to "How do you feel about smoking?" with "I consider cigarettes like an old friend..." and when asked "What is your second brand choice?" I typically cut my finger and bleed on the page as a sign of my intolerance to "second brand choices").
Philip Morris (makers of the #1 smokatine in the US, the Marlboro brand) however, see me as an opportunity for conversion, so they send me, on a monthly basis, things like brushed metal Zippo lighters and playing cards and little barbecue recipe books and all sorts of other things. Camel got the hint after I gave the Marlboro No. 27s a test run (lit! they were awful) and sent me a sneak preview of the Camel Turkish Silvers, claiming that they were "The Mellowest Camel Ever!" which in turn would imply that they were the mellowest cigarette ever, as Camies pride themselves on smooth, mellow tradition.
Bullarky. Not only were the T-silvs unpleasant to the taste (in that they had none of that chocolate covered chew your cud cherry smell that Camels have) but they were disappointing in coolfactory perception, in that when I stood there in my hippest jeans and slickest hat, smoking, smelling, savoring, I didn't once have the inclination that I was an all time high flying adventurer on a safari in the most remote regions of Arabia, surrounded by a pack of wild dogs that would be my only obstacle preventing my slick young bod from entering the Harem of 1000 Gypsies. Nor did I feel like I was transported back through time to when Frankie and those Rattiest Packiest boys would be stealing away to the top of the Sears Tower for a midnight rendezvous with the old bottle of whiskey and the quick snort of the cocaine.
So, to you my good friends at Camel Turkish (insert finalizer) I say this: I have known Camels for all of my life, and thanks to me feeling that skaters should smoke turkish and domestics, I have been loyal for over 10 years. I have embraced Camel Lights and Camel Ultralights, lip-hugged Kamels and even gave the Cremas and Ismir Stingers there fair share of weekend galavants, but no longer will I stand for this travesty of nature to prevail as you insult me with a free pack of T-silvs.
Today I smoke for all of my homies who didn't make it to the corner store in time...
I fill out forms, who doesn't, but I really fill them out, and I love doing it. I could fill out forms about anything, from what sort of laundry detergents I use to W2s to doing my taxes and so on and so on, but when it comes time to fill out a good form and it's on a topic I enjoy, say....cigarettes....well then I go bollistic. Yes, modern warfare, you know?
So overtime I have apparently reassured RJ Reynolds (fine purveyors of turkish/domestic tobaccos) that I am such a devoted fan that they need not send me any little tchotchkes to provide me with incentive to keep puffing their brand (I once filled out the answer to "How do you feel about smoking?" with "I consider cigarettes like an old friend..." and when asked "What is your second brand choice?" I typically cut my finger and bleed on the page as a sign of my intolerance to "second brand choices").
Philip Morris (makers of the #1 smokatine in the US, the Marlboro brand) however, see me as an opportunity for conversion, so they send me, on a monthly basis, things like brushed metal Zippo lighters and playing cards and little barbecue recipe books and all sorts of other things. Camel got the hint after I gave the Marlboro No. 27s a test run (lit! they were awful) and sent me a sneak preview of the Camel Turkish Silvers, claiming that they were "The Mellowest Camel Ever!" which in turn would imply that they were the mellowest cigarette ever, as Camies pride themselves on smooth, mellow tradition.
Bullarky. Not only were the T-silvs unpleasant to the taste (in that they had none of that chocolate covered chew your cud cherry smell that Camels have) but they were disappointing in coolfactory perception, in that when I stood there in my hippest jeans and slickest hat, smoking, smelling, savoring, I didn't once have the inclination that I was an all time high flying adventurer on a safari in the most remote regions of Arabia, surrounded by a pack of wild dogs that would be my only obstacle preventing my slick young bod from entering the Harem of 1000 Gypsies. Nor did I feel like I was transported back through time to when Frankie and those Rattiest Packiest boys would be stealing away to the top of the Sears Tower for a midnight rendezvous with the old bottle of whiskey and the quick snort of the cocaine.
So, to you my good friends at Camel Turkish (insert finalizer) I say this: I have known Camels for all of my life, and thanks to me feeling that skaters should smoke turkish and domestics, I have been loyal for over 10 years. I have embraced Camel Lights and Camel Ultralights, lip-hugged Kamels and even gave the Cremas and Ismir Stingers there fair share of weekend galavants, but no longer will I stand for this travesty of nature to prevail as you insult me with a free pack of T-silvs.
Today I smoke for all of my homies who didn't make it to the corner store in time...
posted by ClickNathan at 3:56 PM
14 Comments:
i was just thinking about something much more important. anyway, although there is less flavor in the silvers they truly are mellow. they weren't claiming to be the 'tastiest' cigarette. but anyway, i'll apologize beforehand for this blasphemy (considered such only for this page) but i don't think i can take advice from someone who's at a stage in the smoking game that he smokes ultra lights. when i smoke a silver, i agree, it feels less like i'm smoking, but, it tastes like i'm smoking twice that of an ultra-light.
HAH! Is this now a rivalry? I was merely expressing an opinion, but I think my track record and lack of chewing tobacco gives me chief rights over who is more invested in smoking.
Not to mention that I have a blog dedicated just to it.
But yes, I'd agree that taste and mellow are different, and that my post's title has very little to do with the body, and that I may have completely gone off on a tangent.
The original point was for me to kill some time, and that was accomplished, so now I suppose I'll go and smoke...
Well, as long as you don't think it's a rivalry, then we're good. Thing was, when you look at my latest comment on the post just below, you'll see how i felt attacked, and how i was made to feel like a less superior smoker.
i have a present for you. remind me next time you come in or i come up or you and i both go to pittsburgh. i guess shawn didn't really want it. he was busy playing rugby with the drinking team at upj. aight!!
Oooh a present! This is either a fabulous day for me or a clever way for you to get me back for that CD I made but never gave to you.
On the other hand, you're right about the comment and responding post, but too many lives have been lost over cigarettes, I would hate to see yours sacrificed for them as well.
Oh and of course, I've never gotten a .400 average on MLB, but I did like how you could slightly alter your characters and make teams....I think that was the game. And then there was that robot baseball game where you could buy upgrades for your players (who were, in turn, robots).
Good tidings and seasons biddings to you!
Yes Chad, I feel for you. I know exactly what its like to be promised a CD you can never have in your possession.
I have mixed feelings about that countdown. should it stay up or should it come down? the poll starts now.
You have the right to vote anonymously.
This was a party political broadcast.
HAH! Voting! What do you think this is, a democracy?
I would take it down, but I'm not going to right now for lack of time. You can take it down if you'd like, but I'll get around to it eventually.
heh, that's alright about the cd. it's not like it was promised to me by shawn or anything.
so he promised you one too olivia? hmm, he traps people into friendships with the lure of a cd as bait, i guess.
Base Wars?!! That was awesome. hahaha and so funny. apparently, some time into the future, anger at bad umpire calls evolved into having every runner that found himself confronted with a man with a ball to have all-out battles to determine safety or if, instead, the runner should be considered out. although attendence rose at incomparable rates, competition got so fierce that there were hardly any players not on the disabled list. thus, robots were created to play alongside the uninjured humans. this worked ok until a team comprised of 95% robots decided to equip their robots with laser swords and machine guns. following one league-wide road trip for this team, all other teams were down to only robot players as well. Let the Base Wars begin!!
I think that's how the introduction to the game read in the instructions booklet...
what camel picture are you talking about?
I'm hoping its not shawn's cameltoe picture you showed me...
keep it up!
in a way, b0b, i already am quitting.
just a man who has just finished shaving is once again shaving his beard, each time i finish a cigarette i am on the road to recovery.
to no longer smoke is the hard thing, but quitting, well quitting is a constant easism.
just wanted to sign in
Ah I see....like the daily sign in at the VFW or something... yeah, I'll be giving out prizes (well, I'll be making prizes, delivering them has never been my strong suit.)
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